late stage capitalism

[late stage capitalism]

[dragonpuppies]

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!

Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*

[amityravenclawelf]

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?

[hi-def-doritos]

Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.

[little-niggah-sugar]

Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger.

Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert.

[marzipanandminutiae]

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence.

Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends!

Elizabethan Scholar 1: I…I have not sufficient to sup on fowl.

[ur-friendly-local-memer]

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a ‘b’, and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire life.

Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee?

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee?

[late stage capitalism]

[lord-kitschener]

Yknow between “Kurdish people in northern Syria getting wiped out by Turkey is giga lulz because it means I get to be even more of an insufferably smug fuck and dunk on anarkiddies epic style on tumblr.com,” to “being a furry is radical anti civ (said by someone who says age of consent laws are evil and statist),” and “what do you mean this post about how ((Elites)) are kidnapping young people to drink their blood to gain eternal youth is dogwhistle antisemitic blood Libel??” leftblr has had a less than stellar last couple of weeks

[late stage capitalism]

[atthepriceofoblivion]

Build-a-Bear Employee: please,,, I can’t fit any more stuffing into this pikachu

Me: You fool….. Make Him Fatter

[mydogisabutt]

i worked at build-a-bear in downtown disney and one time a guest came with a grinch and had me force 6 custom sounds into him which was just him breathing really hard and saying “MERRY CHRISTMAS” into each one
the thing is, he had me stuff them into the arms, which were stick-thin
so the seams were coming up and i was having to repair his now lumpy grinchy arms
this took like 45 minutes and all the while the kid was legit trying to remove my kneecaps, his mom was even telling me that she warned someone this would happen and they sent her straight to me ROFLMAO
after he was stuffed to the brim and i could hear the soul of the plush screaming at me for what would be the next eternity the kid dressed him up like batman
but his mom was like “NO HE HAS TO BE CHRISTMAS” so he put a santa hat on him and also a little plush gingerbread that smelled like actual gingerbread and it ended up looking like this

i clocked out an hour and a half late it was like 1 am

[hot-for-justice]

@tophattery @girl-in-the-hitops

[late stage capitalism]

[completelykorra]

Just so you know there was a scene during my test screening of into the spiderverse where Peter Porker says fuck and I just went and watched the final film tonight and they cut it out. It appeared in a speech bubble with a bunch of symbols like “f$&@!”. He also had a horrifying line about one of his family members dying and it smelling like singed bacon that legit got gasps during the test screening but they cut that as well. I just want you to know they made John Mulaney say so much weird shit that did not make it into the final cut of the film and y’all better pray they put it in the extended features because I was DEVASTATED at some of the jokes they removed.

[ruusalor]

Fun fact, they didnt make John say any of that stuff. in an interview he said that, since he was a comedian he was told to “have fun with it” during his recording sessions; which apparently lead to a lot of swearing and morbid jokes for at least 2 hours before he stopped and asked what the movie was rated. “PG.”

“Oh, so you can’t use anything that I’ve said at all”

“No, no we cant.”

“Well why didnt you guys stop me sooner??”

“You were having fun with it.”

[late stage capitalism]

[late stage capitalism]

[enigma-complex]

you kids wanna buy some drugs

[late stage capitalism]

[gr1m3]

Experimenting w Light refraction w a shitty camera in my bathroom

[late stage capitalism]

[yesterdaysprint]

Eau Claire Leader, Wisconsin, January 30, 1915

[late stage capitalism]

[sparklysparkypet]

I BREATHED

[late stage capitalism]

[ghostcongregation]

i’m sorry to say this, but it has come to my attention that in disney’s descendants, dopey the dwarf has a son named doug — which means that canonically, dopey has fucked

[acoolguy]

and he will continue to fuck unless we find a way to stop him